


how am I supposed to feel when you're not here

by izzeDeer



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Fluffy Ending, M/M, Mild Angst, Reconciliation, implied severe injuries, sort of enemies to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 23:33:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18324203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzeDeer/pseuds/izzeDeer
Summary: Orth isn't having any of Ibex's shit.Song for listening:https://youtu.be/wfDP7zfmluk





	how am I supposed to feel when you're not here

**Author's Note:**

> Listen I'm having a good time playing in this space, and this is my first fully fledged fic! Instead of being a lil snibbet.  
> (credit to my friend Bella for helping me with the title!)

"You know, this'd probably be better if you were here in person, not video calling me." Orth leaned on his elbow, giving the video image of Ibex a raised brow and a bored expression. He should have ignored this call.  
He always picked up.  
"You know I can't, Orth. I have to be in too many places." The distortion on the video made Ibex's expression difficult to read, but he seemed annoyed. Good.  
"Mm. Alright. Don't call me anymore then."  
Click.  
Bwoop.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Knock knock knock.  
"Come in."  
Orth didn't even look up from what he was doing. He knew the click of well polished heels, and who's step it was, as soon as the door was opened and he walked in.  
And the difference between a heavy step and a human's step.  
"You know this doesn't count as in person, right?" Papers were sorted into different piles as he spoke.  
"Orth, I said this a few weeks ago, you know I can't-"  
"Uh huh, yeah. Please leave. I have work to do."  
He ignored Ibex as the man tried to argue, shuffling papers and sorting through bureaucratic nonsense.  
He didn't look back up until he heard the click of those heels and the click of the door behind them.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Third time's the charm, Orth supposed. He was vaguely aware of the guest list for the evening, having been told by one of his personal security. But once the name Ibex was spoken, the rest of the list may as well have been a blur for him.  
It had been 5 years of radio silence.   
Part of him hoped, but the rest of him knew better.  
Ibex never changed.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

It was after.  
That they had a moment alone.  
After the chaos of Mako stealing what they had all been there to get, the apologies and compensations and.  
Well, he never could truly escape bureaucracy, could he?  
Now Orth stood with Ibex outside where the auction had been held, on a balcony, partially secluded, extra secured by his security detail.  
"I hope seeing me in person is everything you expected it to be, Orth."  
God, Ibex sounded so tired.  
"You look rough, but I appreciate this."  
The following silence wasn't necessarily uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure what to say now.  
What could he say that he hadn't already screamed at the sky on multiple occasions?  
Demand an apology, demand recompense, berate Ibex for everything he had done to Orth over the years?  
But seeing him, with his cane and just how tired he looked....  
Before he could find his words, Ibex beat him to it, as always.  
"I'm sorry. Truly sorry. For everything I've done to you Orth. I've been trying for years to deliver this apology, doing it wrong every time I try, and it took me so so long to realize that. You deserve better than what I was trying to give you, and you deserved better than what I did to you, back then and over the past decade and a half."  
It wasn't that Orth missed Ibex's tone. It was how sincere the man sounded. It took him by surprise, and he couldn't speak, just staring at him like an idiot.  
"If you don't forgive me, I would absolutely understand. There's no amount of reassuring I could give you to have you believe that I've gotten better."  
He put his hand on Orth's arm and squeezed.  
"Thank you. You are honestly a good man, and a good leader. I hope your good fortune continues to favour you."  
Before Orth could speak, before he could find his words, Ibex turned to leave.  
All he could do was reach out, and grasp his arm, to stop him.  
And he did. And they just stared at each other, words lost between them.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Their fourth meeting was not how Orth wanted it to go.  
He wasn't even sure if Ibex - no, Attar, could hear him as he nervous babbled about how Cass had managed to stop Rigour and almost died doing it, and how brave everyone had been in the fight and how brave he thought Attar had been.  
But then he ran out of words to help him avoid the situation.  
"Please don't make me bury you yet...."  
The only words he had left, spoken into the quiet almost silence of a hospital room, the beeping of life support equipment the only response he received.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

The fifth meeting was better. Of course, Attar would say it wasn't their fifth meeting. They'd spoken over the vid comms multiple times, seeing each other's faces and holograms enough.  
But it wasn't the same as meeting in person, with no business in the way.  
Attar had come a long way, and Orth was glad he was getting to know the real him, the one who liked earth animals and would talk about them at any moment for long stretches of time. The Attar who missed his sibling terribly all the time and would send them nervous texts. The Attar who laughed, spoke warmly, and worked to help the people around him.  
The Attar who wasn't Candidate Ibex.  
He squeezed Attar's hand and smiled. He'd stop counting their meetings now.


End file.
